Sanity Day
I marked this day in my datebook “Sanity Day.” It was my day to get away from life. I went to the mall as planned- “THE” Mall, the one with all the schmansy stores. Although I have been to that mall on several occasions, I went into several stores today that I had not been into before- Talbot’s, Anne Klein, and others I cannot remember. I went into a Chico’s. This store carries clothes only in size 0-3. Isn’t that insane?! You would think that a store could not even stay in business with such a small clientelle, but obviously it does. I found it odd that of all the women I saw shopping in there- and buying stuff- none of them looked to be the size to fit in the clothes. My favorite store was Coldwater Creek. I loved just about everything in that store. I like the intricate design, the foreign influence. I would be hardpressed to limit myself as as to what I would want to buy. This, of course, proved not to be a probelm since it, like every other store I went into, did not carry a single item in my size. The upside, you don’t get a lot of sales pressure when you are near 300 pounds and shopping in a store for “normal” people.
I decided last night that when Jason ships out in June, I want to start a diet program that doesn’t make me think- one of those that will send you the specific food and you just warm it up on schedule. I looked first to Jenny Craig. I was lulled admittedly by the celebrities- Kirstie, Valerie, and now Latifah (just can’t make myself call her “Queen”). Researching it online some though makes it seem like a money sham- inexperienced counselors getting paid commission to sell overpriced diet food. So, then I thought about Nutri-System, but as I was surfing my way over to their site, I ran across Medifast. This program is appealing to me right now. I’m tired of food. I’m sick of all food and all food makes me sick. I’m intimidated a bit by the idea of living with one strictly prescribed meal a day and shakes/ suppliments. At the same time, I am a bit romanaced by the freedom of not having to figure out what and how much to eat. It did not take long for the image of Oprah in her black turtleneck and tight jeans hauling a little red wagon filled with chicken fat on stage to come to mind. It is poignant how seared into my mind that image is. I realize this is strictly a diet. It is not the life change that needs to occur to maintain a healthy life-style and weightloss. I accept that if I do lose an incredible amount of weight that it is likely some will reappear when I reintroduce normal foods. What I am looking at this as is “Time Off”. Time to figure how I will eat. Time to research food and resolve the food issues plaguing my life.
The goal that is currently on my mind is being able to fit into a Large at Coldwater Creek. Their sizes seemed pretty fair. I noticed the different dimensions between larges at various stores. And then there were the smalls, and XS, and even XXS. I cannot picture grown women fitting into those clothes. Right now the first thing I look for when I shop is size. Price and style play a weak second fiddle to finding something that fits. I cannot imagine a world where that would not be my first concern. I was rather surprised today to see how expensive much of the clothing was. I welcome the day that I look at price before fit.
