Blogging Rebirth
So… it has officially been over 6 months since I reacted to the urge to create a blog… never to return. The itch to blog has been scratching at me again though. The new dilemma about said blogging is that I am most driven to the weak self-therapy offered by journaling when I am upset. I rarely want to jot down what’s on my mind when there’s not a crisis or churning pit of emotional turmoil blinding me to everyday life. Which I guess brings me back to that same dilemma I voiced 6 months ago. What is the purpose of these verbose ramblings to be? Well, I have had some ideas on that thought…
I bought The Best Life by Bob Greene the other day. I could not help but to be lulled by the title. The garb within is just as enticing… What is your best life? How are you going to start living your best life? Of course, in essence, it is a weight loss book. I just deleted a huge chunk of text that rambled on with my relationship to fat (and my relationship to books about fat), but I deleted it because that is a post to be saved for another day.
I don’t know that I am going to attempt to follow the plan set forth in Oprah-induced-fame-Bob-Green’s book, but the idea of YOUR BEST LIFE may have me hooked. As I lay in bed each night and crave for sleep to find me, I am overcome by this feeling of anxiety. I have strugled to define it and can only come to the conclusion that it feels like a fear that I forgot to do something important. I am a list-maker by nature and I often end the night making a list of to-do’s I cannot forget for the next day and posting it on the tv in the bedroom or on the snooze button of the alarm clock. So, I know that the feeling that I forgot to do something is a fallacy because I have already inventoried the tasks that need completing for the next day and those that were left unfinished on the current day.
Thus, I am starting to think in a more cosmic sense that perhaps it isn’t the unbought dogfood or the unpaid bill, but the unfinished life that sends me to bed at night with a sense of panic. There are so many things in my life that I am unhappy about. Honestly, it is hard to think of even one thing in my life that does make me happy. So, alas I think this is the purpose of my journey and of this blog. I know self-improvement is a trite topic of which to write, but I think I will benefit from identifying the areas of my life that need improvement and journaling how I go about accomplishing the task to do so. Maybe it will hold me accountable. Maybe I can develop a reader base and get the input of others and maybe even influence others. Someway. Somehow.
